A kangaroo kept getting out of his enclosure at the zoo. Knowing that he couldhop high, the zoo officials put up a ten-foot fence. He was out the next morning,just roaming around the zoo. A twenty-foot fence was put up. Again he go out.When the fence was forty feet high, a camel in the next enclosure askedthe kangaroo, "How high do you think they'll go?"The kangaroo said, "About a thousand feet, unless somebody locks the gate at night!"

Teacher: "Sam, what is the outside of a tree called?"Sam: "I don’t know."Teacher: "Bark, Sam, bark."Sam: "Bow, wow, wow!"

Teacher: Why are you late, Joseph?Joseph: Because of a sign down the road.Teacher: What does a sign have to do with your being late?Joseph: The sign said, "School Ahead, Go Slow!"

Teacher: How do you spell "dog"?Pupil: d, o, g, enter.

Two biologists are in the field following the tracks of a radio-collared grizzly bear. All of a sudden, the bear crashes out of the brush and heads right for them. They scramble up the nearest tree, but the bear starts climbing up the tree after them. The first biologist starts taking off his heavy leather hiking boots and pulls a pair of sleek running shoes from hisback-pack. The second biologist gives him a puzzled look and says:"What in the world are you doing?"He replies: "I figure when the bear gets close to us, we'll jump down and make a run for it."The second guy says: "Are you crazy? We both know you can't outrun a full-grown grizzly bear."The first guy says: "I don't have to outrun the bear, I only have to outrun you!"

A boy was assigned a paper on childbirth and asked his mother, "How was I born?""Well honey..." said the slightly prudish mother, "the stork brought you to us.""Oh," said the boy, "and how did you and daddy get born?""Oh, the stork brought us too.""Well how were grandpa and grandma born?" the boy persisted."Well darling, the stork brought them too!" said the mother, by now starting to squirm a little.Several days later, the boy handed in his paper to the teacher who read with confusion the opening sentence:"This report has been very difficult to write due to the fact that there hasn't been a natural childbirth in my family for three generations."

"When I saw you driving down the road, I guessed 55 at least.""You're wrong, officer, it's only my hat that makes me look that old."

A man pulls up to the curb and asks the policeman, "Can I park here?""No!" says the cop."What about all these other cars?""They didn't ask!"

A newsboy was standing on the corner with a stack of papers, yelling:"Read all about it. Fifty people swindled! Fifty people swindled!"Curious, a man walked over, bought a paper, and checked the front page. Finding nothing, the man said: "There's nothing in here about fifty people being swindled."The newsboy ignored him and went on, calling out: "Read all about it. Fifty-one people swindled!"

When you breath, you inspire. When you do not breath, you expire.

Genetics explain why you look like your father and if you don't why you should.

Sterility is hereditary: If your grandfather didn't have children and your father didn't have children, you won't have children too.